Category: Soapbox Corner


I must have been mentally on Mars, because I could have sworn travelling circuses were finally banned in Ireland. NUH. UH.

Public money (UK and IRE) is used year-on-year to support the use of animals in travelling circuses.

The Irish Arts Council recently attracted a bit of much needed heat from ISPCA CEO, Dr. Andrew Kelly in a letter to the Irish Times. This is what got my attention.

When will we just ‘get it’? In a different time circuses were an art form, but it is time to let go of the notion that it still has a place in today’s arts ecology.

In other animal news our long suffering mother earth now faces the sixth major mass extinction of our time solely due to human interference. We are set to lose 41% of all amphibians, 26% of mammals and 13% of birds on the planet – because of us! Can’t we just give circuses the bloody boot already?

Circuses no longer need advocacy. They are well and truly up there with the fu*king tories’ plan to repeal the Hunting Act.

*jumps off soapbox*



HOW TO SURVIVE HUMANS AND EARTH is a straight talking read for anxious people on an anxious planet.

We are 7 billion people and counting; connected in an infinite race for mental, physical, and environmental survival.

People young and old are struggling to hold their shit together day in day out; bombarded with information on how to live a ‘better’ life.

While we occasionally need to chow down on scientific jargon about the environmental and economic piss-bucket we reside in, we need a bit of balance to allow our minds to catch up.

This book is a guide for the anxious. Helping to remove social stigma about mental and environmental anxiety.

Take the reigns; reconnect; change your world; avoid or come to terms with a complete nervous breakdown. The choice is yours.

It’s time for a bold, straight talking, no holes barred look at how we’re living both mentally and physically.

How do we stop ourselves going bat-shit-crazy from just trying to get through a day, while trying to avoid living in a spherical shithole?

HOW TO SURVIVE HUMANS AND EARTH is a journey to tell you how.

Narcissists VS Feminists: The war on the #nomakeupselfie

Cancer is not a gender specific disease, we know this, and yet women have jumped on the no make-up selfie bandwagon by the bus load to unite ‘some’ of the sisterhood to take off their makeup, take a selfie, donate money to charity, do a good deed, take themselves a little less seriously and put themselves out there. What the hell is the problem?

Has it or has it not raised millions of pounds in a matter of days and sparked debate and widespread articles in The Independent, the Guardian, The Telegraph, BBC News and beyond? Has it not also now sparked the Cock On a Sock campaign with hopefully equal success?

I’ll be the first to put my hand up and say that despite having a circle of fabulous girl friends, I’m most often found scratching my head to figure out the sexes. Somewhere along the road to womanhood the clouds parted and revealed the shockingly resilient sisterhood. Now, I have always been the one shouting from the rooftops that marriage symbolises nothing to me and hell will have frozen over the day I give up my surname (she says, engaged). Where am I going with this?

Well, damn it, I suppose I’m admitting I’m a modern feminist (or at least that’s what the growing concensus is), whatever that means, and I’ll be damned if I’ll be judged by a bit of female solidarity about a genderless issue. I’ve read article after tweet after status after comment from women at large that seem to want medals because they never ever wear make-up, while suggesting us imposter women who do wear makeup daily are somehow masking our vanity with narcissistic philanthropy.

This cancer awareness campaign did what it said on the tin. It communicated awareness despite suggestions that membership to the sisterhood for all female selfie participants has now expired, presumably along with our self-worth, self-respect, street cred and intelligence? A common opinion among the polarised high-horsed critic it would seem. That said, I’m not intentionally fighting fire with fire here, but I’m struggling to find a problem with the social good this untraceable campaign has achieved. And if you bring my intelligence or vanity in to this s$&t-stirring argument once more, so help me.

A selfie gesture won’t cure cancer, nor does it communicate the how-to of copping a feel of one’s balls or boobs, or tell us of the 200+ cancers in existence. Tell me something new please and end the belligerent assault on social media and women at large. If I’m not mistaken, it was never a cancer type specific campaign. If you asked men to moon the web and give £3 for testicular or prostate cancer, or just cancer in general, I’m pretty damn sure that thousands would, and are now starting to do. You may as well ask what red noses or comedy has to do with aids or people in need!

This campaign is highlighting far more than cancer awareness, it’s highlighting humanity in all its pejorative and pigeonhole glory, and the opinion-led backlash does far more damage than a harmless community led selfie ever could. It feeds the monster of intellectual hierarchy and gives the Katie Hopkins of this world a loaded and poisonous soapbox to shout from.

The media backlash (predominantly female led) suggests that the #nomakeupselfie explosion is damaging to women’s mental health, self-confidence, and is not courageous or brave. Give us some bloody credit! There’s no denying that the campaign could do with a little refining and direction, but would it have been as successful? Has it or has it not been a staggering success all flaws included? How is it that we have come to a point where we critisise successful communications campaigns for the greater good along with ourselves?

Ask me to take a picture of my bare arse and I’ll show you my version of bravery, but bravery is not something to be measured in comparison to life threatening illnesses. This selfie campaign doesn’t seem to have been born out of narcissitic bravery. It’s just a brilliantly effective social campaign that found flight and is harnessing the power of social media for the greater good. I hope to see far more bold and viral social campaigns from now on. So let people get on with their balls, boobs and selfie posts. All cancer research will benefit. That much I’m certain of.

Share your bare mugs and jugs near and far and donate the £3 to your local or national cancer charity or hospice, or text BEAT to 70099 to donate £3 to Cancer Research UK.

by Sam Jordan





Ode to Friday:

“She peeled her sleep encrusted eyes open, observed the bland grey sky, eavesdropped on the rain as it dressed down the rooftops, haphazardly opened up her e-mail and noticed an advertised position on Guardian Jobs for the role of ‘Resentment Officer’. Her inner Grinch quietly giggled with glee… “Ahhhh, finally, a role made for me”.

But, as she guzzled the last of her morning tea from a cup the size of her head, she harrumphed at the normality of this role that she had blearyly mis-read- ‘Position: Representative Officer’. So, she went back to bed, covered her head and refused to get up ever again. Happy 3rd last day of the week before Monday.”

That other Friday Feeling.
That other Friday Feeling.


Most people won’t ask where their flowers come from or care that most of them are covered with pesticide or that Dutch green-housed roses have a much bigger carbon footprint than those airfreighted from Kenya, because HELL… I buy £1/£2 bunch of Daffys/Tulips from Horseco too.

But, seeing as only 10% of all cut flowers bought in the UK every year are actually from here, well… maybe next year we can all pick nettles and dip them in glitter or something? 😉

Here’s a cat with hearts on it bi*ches! Happy Hallmark/Valentines Day MOFOs! Love, sprinkles, and Fair Trade to all!



Yeah. So?
Yeah. So?